Ten Funny Tweets!
Here are ten funny tweets we really like:
- “We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way. It’s called thinking ahead guys.”
- “I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.”
- “When a pizza guy comes to my door, I like to answer wearing the same uniform as him and holding a pizza, and then insist that he called me.”
- “I found a spider in my shoes. He looks ridiculous, they’re way too big for him.”
- “I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. Alright, get in the basket…”
- “When people ask me “Plz” because it’s shorter than “Please” I tell them “No” because it’s shorter than “Yes”.
- “My 7 year old is trying to unlock the mystery of “child-proof” medicine bottle locks. He can’t understand how the bottle knows he’s a child.”
- “In honor of Kim and Kanye’s baby “North West” I will be naming my first son “Taco”.
- “When attacked by a bear, play dead. Make his meal less stressful. It’s not all about you…”
- “Show your neighbor they shouldn’t park their boat outside of their house by filling it with two of every animal.”