Ten Funny Tweets!

Ten Funny Tweets!

Here are ten funny tweets we really like:

  1. “We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way. It’s called thinking ahead guys.”
  2. “I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.”
  3. “When a pizza guy comes to my door, I like to answer wearing the same uniform as him and holding a pizza, and then insist that he called me.”
  4. “I found a spider in my shoes. He looks ridiculous, they’re way too big for him.”
  5. “I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. Alright, get in the basket…”
  6. “When people ask me “Plz” because it’s shorter than “Please” I tell them “No” because it’s shorter than “Yes”.
  7. “My 7 year old is trying to unlock the mystery of “child-proof” medicine bottle locks. He can’t understand how the bottle knows he’s a child.”
  8. “In honor of Kim and Kanye’s baby “North West” I will be naming my first son “Taco”.
  9. “When attacked by a bear, play dead. Make his meal less stressful. It’s not all about you…”
  10. “Show your neighbor they shouldn’t park their boat outside of their house by filling it with two of every animal.”

Plus One Extra!

10 funny tweets adam sandler